CAEL Test Sample Essay Long Writing – Part 4
CAEL Long Writing (Part 4)
In this lesson, we’ll review a CAEL test sample essay for the long writing in section 4 of the CAEL test. We’ll look at an essay that Ricardo wrote. He needed to achieve a score of 70 or above to become a licensed immigration consultant.
We’ll use the CAEL rubric that examiners use to structure this assessment of Ricardo’s essay. It reveals some do’s and don’ts as you prepare for CAEL. If you need more help, please contact me or call/text 613-614-6460
The question this CAEL Test sample essay responds to is in practice test 1 on the CAEL website. It asks whether criminal cases should rely exclusively on objective methods like fingerprinting, video recordings, and DNA.
Forensic science is tremendously important to help law application in crimes and achieving justice. Forensic science is branched out into multiple types some of them are based on scientific evidence others are based on psychological testing. I think the science -based forensics is more trustworthy than the psychological forensics for many reasons.
To begin with, the Forensic Psychiatry has limitations as it doesn’t provide any tangible evidence that can prove something without a shadow of a doubt. It’s mostly based on theories and impressions. Therefore, it can be used as an add-on tool to the scientific evidence, just to shed more light on the criminal cases in terms of the mental conditions.
Never start a new line within a paragraph!
On the other hand, the forensic science is highly specialized and has multiple specialties. That’s what makes it has the upper hand when it comes to a final say in crimes.
For example, handwriting determin a personal characters and can reveal motives. Those two pieces can be identified by what a person writes and how he expresses him/herself. Nowadays, because of the digital evolution, scientists have developed new methodologies in analyzing handwriting whereby it has become possible to point out a person among a crowd.
Another example is fingerprints, it is an efficeint identification tool that’s because fingerprints are unique and can be categorized. There is no person who has the same fingerprints as the other, even twins have different fingerprints and can be differentiated by their unique fingerprints.
In general, using psychological assessments can help determine the mental status of a criminal but can not provide undubtful proof while applying forensic scientific analysis can provide proof to help applying laws.
As you read this CAEL test sample essay, you probably noticed some errors yourself. This is what we found:
Ricardo organized his response well. He started with an introduction and went on to write two paragraphs before concluding his essay. In doing so, he picked up quite a few points for coherence; however, he also lost some because he didn’t outline his main ideas. Generally speaking, in your introduction, you need to paraphrase the question and outline the two main ideas that you intend to develop.
The other problem with Ricardo’s essay, in terms of coherence, is that he added an unnecessary third paragraph that detracted from his main point. In other words, develop one idea in each paragraph with a statement, an explanation, and details. Since the question asks you to use both sources, use one paragraph for an idea from the reading, and one paragraph for an idea from the lecture.
Ricardo lost quite a few points for his lexical range because he’s not yet able to manipulate his wordforms and is unfamiliar with basic phrases like ‘give someone the upper hand’.
You may also have noticed that Ricardo missed an opportunity to use a parallel in his introduction. Parallels give you points for reductions, precision and language efficiency; therefore, if you see a chance to use one, do so!
Ricardo’s inability to make reductions affected his level of accuracy and precision. For the higher scores, you need to express yourself effectively and precisely.
For a 70, there really are a lot of basic grammatical errors. He has sentences with two subjects, unnecessary articles, spelling & punctuation mistakes, and several tense errors. Of all of these mistakes, probably the most telling is his use of contractions. You can only use contractions in informal writing, and academic writing is not informal. In academic writing, you need to write out the whole word. In other words, write it is, not it’s. Another way to give your writing more formality is to use the passive voice.
While Ricardo has addressed every part of the question, he hasn’t been thorough enough to get full marks for task fulfillment. It’s really important to say as much as you can about as little as you can. Make your statement, elaborate on it, and them offer details or an example. Keeping that basic paragraph structure in mind also helps you to plan and write the essay quickly.
How we helped Ricardo achieve his CAEL score?
We started by cleaning up Ricardo’s articles. Then, we moved on to essay format and organization.
Next, we studied 3 different types of connections and the punctuation that goes with them.
Once we could see that Ricardo’s accuracy in these areas was increasing, we introduced some sentence variety. As he became more familiar with different types of sentences, he was able to find ways of saying things more concisely.
Before long, Ricardo was able to go to his test with lots of confidence because he knew how to vary his sentences and which mistakes were affecting his score. In other words, he was equipped write with precision and fix his mistakes before his time ran out.
Being familiar with your mistake types makes it a lot easier to find and correct them during editing. An online CAEL tutor can help you identify those things as can our stand-alone classes for grammar, punctuation, and tenses.
Please visit our YouTube channel for more videos.
To get an idea of your score, please paste your essay into the comments box below.
If you would like detailed feedback, please submit your response to our writing correction service.
For more CAEL Writing Samples, please check these pages: